I am out of business cards.

To be sure, this statement is not strictly accurate. Somewhere-In-This-House, I have a stack of business cards as thick as my thumb -- or so it was the last time I laid eyes on it. Which was evidently long enough ago that I no longer recall just where it is that I saw it. So now I must apply my delusions of graphic design to the task of running up a new one, since I have also lost the master file.

Again.

Fortunately, I do know where I put the cardstock.
.