So, the Epic Road Trip Of Doomy DOOM! The purpose behind this Adventure was helping friends-of-friends move, from a coast I do not live on to a different coast that I also do not live on... Yes, this is confusing. But hey, road trip.
The first leg involved a train ride. A very, very, very long train ride, but as bad as trains are being sealed in a can of chemically-questionable air is worse for me overall. English wasn't my seatmate's first language, but considering some of the alternatives I was actually pretty good with that. Even if it meant I was left alone with the running dialogue in my own head...
INNER JASON: Train! Train!
INNER TREVOR: You can't mean to tell me that a grown man has never what am I saying you're an American of course you haven't. Is this an entire satchel of granola bars?
INNER JASON: Dude, I looked up the dining-car menu online and just no. But TRAIN!
INNER TREVOR: *is doomed*
(Extra point for guessing why Inner Jason took this picture before I even got to the damn boarding-gate.)
INNER JASON: [train pulls out] TRAAAAAIN!
INNER TREVOR: I am really not happy with the lack of seatbelts or better yet a five-point safety harness...
{SIX HOURS LATER:}
SEATMATE: *is asleep on seatback-tray so I can't get out*
INNER TREVOR: Erm, whose idea was Indiana, again?
INNER JASON: *abusing googlemaps on phone* Yeah, meant to mention that part...
{FOUR HOURS LATER THAN THAT}
INNER JASON: OK, sleeping on trains? Notsomuch, also, it was represented to me that there'd be a dessert-cart...
INNER TREVOR: Will you shut it about the chocolate-frogs? You couldn't even eat one --
INNER JASON: But hey, at least we're not in Indiana any more. My ears are popping.
INNER TREVOR: These aren't bloody mountains!
INNER JASON: My EAAAARS.
INNER TREVOR: *sulks*
{ANOTHER THREE HOURS LATER}
INNER JASON: There's no wifi on this train and now there's no cell signal in these fucking mountains I have to entertain myself with my imagination LIKE AN ANIMAL...
INNER TREVOR: Still not proper mountains.
{FOUR MORE HOURS LATER}
INNER JASON: So who died and made you the mountain critic? Seriously?
{FIVE HOURS AFTER THAT}
INNER TREVOR: So, if that was this station on the schedule-tables, then we're running... how late?
INNER JASON: *loaded googlemaps the last time he spotted a celltower* This late.
INNER TREVOR: *groans*
Total time elapsed to Leg One destination: 25.5 hours... or, 1.5 hours after the train ran out of its allotted stores of toilet paper and water.
***ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: leg 1 of 4***. Stay tuned for Part II...
The first leg involved a train ride. A very, very, very long train ride, but as bad as trains are being sealed in a can of chemically-questionable air is worse for me overall. English wasn't my seatmate's first language, but considering some of the alternatives I was actually pretty good with that. Even if it meant I was left alone with the running dialogue in my own head...
INNER JASON: Train! Train!
INNER TREVOR: You can't mean to tell me that a grown man has never what am I saying you're an American of course you haven't. Is this an entire satchel of granola bars?
INNER JASON: Dude, I looked up the dining-car menu online and just no. But TRAIN!
INNER TREVOR: *is doomed*
(Extra point for guessing why Inner Jason took this picture before I even got to the damn boarding-gate.)
INNER JASON: [train pulls out] TRAAAAAIN!
INNER TREVOR: I am really not happy with the lack of seatbelts or better yet a five-point safety harness...
{SIX HOURS LATER:}
SEATMATE: *is asleep on seatback-tray so I can't get out*
INNER TREVOR: Erm, whose idea was Indiana, again?
INNER JASON: *abusing googlemaps on phone* Yeah, meant to mention that part...
{FOUR HOURS LATER THAN THAT}
INNER JASON: OK, sleeping on trains? Notsomuch, also, it was represented to me that there'd be a dessert-cart...
INNER TREVOR: Will you shut it about the chocolate-frogs? You couldn't even eat one --
INNER JASON: But hey, at least we're not in Indiana any more. My ears are popping.
INNER TREVOR: These aren't bloody mountains!
INNER JASON: My EAAAARS.
INNER TREVOR: *sulks*
{ANOTHER THREE HOURS LATER}
INNER JASON: There's no wifi on this train and now there's no cell signal in these fucking mountains I have to entertain myself with my imagination LIKE AN ANIMAL...
INNER TREVOR: Still not proper mountains.
{FOUR MORE HOURS LATER}
INNER JASON: So who died and made you the mountain critic? Seriously?
{FIVE HOURS AFTER THAT}
INNER TREVOR: So, if that was this station on the schedule-tables, then we're running... how late?
INNER JASON: *loaded googlemaps the last time he spotted a celltower* This late.
INNER TREVOR: *groans*
Total time elapsed to Leg One destination: 25.5 hours... or, 1.5 hours after the train ran out of its allotted stores of toilet paper and water.
***ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: leg 1 of 4***. Stay tuned for Part II...