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Another JazzFest weekend has come and gone with us still trapped in this crappy apartment. The acts get weirder by the year: Saturday featured a full-on Dixieland ensemble in the afternoon and closed later with a deluded scat rendition of "Tea in the Sahara", while Sunday's lowlights included a meth-crazed klezmer band and someone who apparently believed that they were channelling the late Tito Puente. Needless to say, none of this was an appropriate accompaniment to Olympics coverage, although at least I couldn't hear the insipid commentary. (Of course, my idea of color-commentary is to wonder aloud if any of the butt-patting is code for "you wanna go back to the Olympic Village and crack open that big can of olive oil?" Because, y'know, I have a filthy mind, and all. I think my version makes at least as much sense as anything the real commentators are babbling about.)
Speaking of the big cans of Greek olive oil, I was in an international market on Saturday, and it crossed my mind, passing by the liquor department, that if I were a drinker at all I would so be doing a shot of ouzo every time one of the commentators said something inane... Anyone out there trying this yet? Does it work? And how many times have you been hauled off to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning so far, given the average rate of stupid utterances? Let us know how long you can go without passing out each day, I'm sure the statistical data will be useful for our class-action suit against NBC...
Exterminators are supposedly coming on Tuesday; the notices are alleging that their particular Substance is harmless to humans and pets. While I have my doubts, I am going to be out most of Tuesday anyway, so we'll give it a try this way and see if technological advances in exterminator chemistry have finally shaken out in my favor... although depending on the timing of everything I may end up showing up at the Grant Park movie with an overnight bag, begging to crash on somebody's couch for the night because I can't go near my apartment for a while longer. ;) But who knows, I have been "better than I was" in these recent years, so I feel cautiously optimistic for now. Still kind of annoyed about the overall Saga of it all, though.
Speaking of the big cans of Greek olive oil, I was in an international market on Saturday, and it crossed my mind, passing by the liquor department, that if I were a drinker at all I would so be doing a shot of ouzo every time one of the commentators said something inane... Anyone out there trying this yet? Does it work? And how many times have you been hauled off to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning so far, given the average rate of stupid utterances? Let us know how long you can go without passing out each day, I'm sure the statistical data will be useful for our class-action suit against NBC...
Exterminators are supposedly coming on Tuesday; the notices are alleging that their particular Substance is harmless to humans and pets. While I have my doubts, I am going to be out most of Tuesday anyway, so we'll give it a try this way and see if technological advances in exterminator chemistry have finally shaken out in my favor... although depending on the timing of everything I may end up showing up at the Grant Park movie with an overnight bag, begging to crash on somebody's couch for the night because I can't go near my apartment for a while longer. ;) But who knows, I have been "better than I was" in these recent years, so I feel cautiously optimistic for now. Still kind of annoyed about the overall Saga of it all, though.
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